We Don't Know What Her Name Is Yet

I'm not going to be one of those bloggers that doesn't write something for what seems like eons and then apologizes to his/her non-existent readers for not keeping them posted on the day-ins and day-outs whatever the fuck he/she babbles about. Those people are annoying, so you get no apologies from me. I've been busy.

Busy buying a farm truck, that is!!

After searching hi and low throughout the South Bay and Santa Cruz and Monterey and wherever else Craigslist took us, we finally settled on this beauty.

"Well, she was just 17, You know what I mean..." started going through my head.

It started right up the very first time. And it wasn't warmed up prior to our arrival.


The seat springs on the driver side are totally shot. Hence, the Driving Pillow. Makes for a fun, bouncy ride!


I got distracted by a bee in a flower while Hub finished "the transaction". I tend to do that.


Smart Husband installed a tachometer because I drive like a retard without one.


Smart Husband also rebuilt the carburetor, changed the spark plugs, fuel filter, and other things I don't know how to say nor care about.


Now I can say, "I'm gonna take the ol' girl to the hardware/materials/nursery/whatever store." Wheee!

I Have Reclaimed Our Computer Room

The computer room has been home to the chickens for the past seven weeks now, and I didn't even bother trying to clean it while they were in there because it would be covered in dust again within a day. Dust from their pine bedding and their food crumbles was on EVERY FRIGGIN SURFACE of that room. I spent two hours this morning wiping everything down and cleaning the floor.

They moved into the chicken tractor permanently on Saturday, and of course, I woke up periodically throughout the night to check on them like the crazy Mother Hen that I am. I thought the rain this weekend would be a bad thing, but it actually helps to insulate the air and kept the temperature at around 55 all night long, so they were quite cozy all hunkered down for the night.

Being stupid chickens that they are, they kept trying to cram into one corner of the tractor, and because we put diagonal cross braces in each corner, they were all vying for that one spot between the frame and the cross brace where it was extra snuggly and warm (one would snatch up that spot, and the others would lay on top of her - I actually felt them while they were in this configuration, and the one on the bottom was almost hot!). So I decided to fashion a sleeping nest out of an old cardboard box that I cut down so that it is only about four inches tall, stuffed it full of pine bedding, and put it in that same corner. They instantly took to it and snuggled down and weren't freaking out about who got the warm spot.

We also went to a feed store in San Jose on Saturday and bought them a gigantic waterer and feeder. My trusty Rural Hardware in Los Gatos didn't have any with hooks/handles attached with which to hang them from the top of the tractor. This place also sold ready-made nesting boxes, but they didn't have a hinged lid - Hub, however, was able to get a better idea of how to build them for our coop.

Lastly, I nailed the dowel that we had inserted into their indoor cardboard box accommodations onto the tractor frame so that they have another roost instead of just using the cross braces.

"Thank you for putting us outside permanently. We were very unhappy indoors."

"Yo, this is MY feeder."

The Dog is Jealous

We had some leftovers from dinner at Scopazzi's last weekend consisting of a bacon-wrapped beef medallion, some mashed potatoes, and a few pieces of saucy broccoli, so we decided to give the girls a treat. Now, they are no longer satisfied with plain, old lay crumbles anymore - the ladies promptly DEVOURED almost every last morsel of the leftovers as well as half a banana leftover from this morning's smoothie. Again, we realize now that we mistakenly brought home pigs, not chickens.

We looked up in my Encyclopedia of Country Living book whether it was okay to give chickens leftovers after we realized that the ladies were becoming rather lethargic after their gorge-fest. Fortunately, all is well and they were just overstuffed - you can apparently give chickens just about anything to eat, but shit, I was kinda worried there for a minute.

Needless to say, the dog was insanely jealous. So we let him scrounge around after the chickens were transported indoors for the night. I'm pretty sure he ate some chicken poop, too. Yuk.

It's not every day you see a 105 lb. American Bulldog in a chicken tractor, you know.

"Ma, I can't turn around in here."

They're Gawky Teenagers Now

I remember looking up pictures of Buff Orpingtons and Barred (or Plymouth) Rock chickens when I first brought these bad girls home and being taken aback by how ugly they would become as they entered their awkward teenage years (weeks?). Perhaps it's a mother's love, but they don't seem to have ever become funny looking or ugly to me, and I'm pretty sure they've surpassed the ugly phase already and are well on their way to becoming lovely, healthy layers that will supply me with lots of yummy chicken tampons (this is how Hub refers to eggs; way before Howard Stern ever called them that, THANKYOU). If not, Hub will need to whip up some of his unreal-good BBQ sauce and the girls will become dinner.

We have been bringing the ladies out every afternoon, and now they get very angry if left in the house too long: trying to fly out of their box, knocking over their waterer, and generally being temperamental and rebellious teenagers. The plan was to move them outside permanently this weekend, but with stupid rain on the forecast, we may be forced to keep them indoors for a few more days, much to their dismay.

Trixie and Egg Carton (the Barred Rocks) are pretty much impossible to tell apart now, except that Trixie doesn't mind being held, while Egg Carton has a hissy fit if you try to pick her up. Brat.

McNugget and Peep (the Buff Orpingtons) like to fight a lot. Let's just say that it would be to their advantage NOT to end up being roosters.

So far, they don't like radishes but love radish greens, balk at broccoli except the leaves, and eat bugs and worms like there's no tomorrow. They turned 6 (weeks) on Tuesday. I LOVE THEM.

"We're going to pout and face the wall because we're not outside."

The Carrots Are Being Lame

I'm not sure what their problem is, but they don't get a picture because they just haven't done much in the growing department lately, and I am not amused by their slow-growth antics.

The beets are on my shit-list, too, because I took a picture of them yesterday that looks almost exactly like the one I took of them ALMOST ONE MONTH EARLIER.

March 29, 2009.

April 28, 2009. WTF?

Perhaps this is because root vegetables do all their growing underground and then their greens grow all crazy right before they're ready to be harvested? I don't know, but that's what I'm telling myself because Lord knows I have given these guys some serious love.

Spinach is doing OK, I suppose, but needs to get his ass in gear because I'm going on a diet and need more greens. Something appears to be munching on it, too. Must be a bug of some sort because Fort Knox has got nothing on me when it comes to how secure this bed is.

Holey spinach.

The peas are my friends because they are doing what they're supposed to do like good little peas and growing to my satisfaction.

Thanks, Peas. You guys totally rock.

The ghetto pea trellis.

The cilantro and green onions seem pretty happy in their large pot.

It appears to be a good thing that I bought tomato seedlings because these guys aren't very excited about growing yet. I thought tomatoes were supposed to be easy to grow, so this is not much of a testament to my seed starting skills.

We're being stubborn.

On the bright side, the butter lettuce and chives seems to be enjoying their home in VB1, and Justin's Future Pickles have poked their heads out of VB2. The yellow squash and zucchini are taking their sweet time.

Out of frustration from all my vegetables' slow-growth shenanigans, I made a tea the other day from Foxfarm's Peace of Mind fertilizer and gave everyone a good feeding, so hopefully they'll thank me by fulfilling my need to feel like a somewhat successful gardener and just grow faster already.

Long-Ass To-Do List

I took Friday off since Hub was off clamping for the weekend with his drinking buddies and yet still barely made a dent in my yard to-do list. I blame this on the fact that future SiL (sis-in-law) was in town as well, so I felt obligated to entertain her to some extent: so I put her ass to work in my yard. Unfortunately, SiL has mad allergies, so after only 20 minutes or so of weed pulling, had a good excuse to not help me with my yard work anymore. She made a valiant effort, however.

Here's my list:
1. make a trellis for the peas
2. take old toilets, empty propane tanks, and other miscellaneous crap at front and side of house to dump
3. eradicate blackberry bush up against house, including roots
4. clean out shed and move it where blackberry bush was
5. burn remaining brush
6. move compost bin away from house and turn it
7. figure out what kind of ground cover to fill parking space with, then cover it
8. spread gravel along north side of house - fill in washing machine drainage ditch
9. take down stupid pear tree that litters tiny white flowers all over your driveway
10. buy a gas-powered blower because your electric blower is retarded
11. wash and clean out Tacoma
12. re-position clothesline
13. make the extra bedroom into a canning/storage room (IKEA trip?)
14. build a fence out of T-posts and welded wire fencing for your future goats

My pea trellis turned out pretty ghetto, but I think it will work.

You notice how it says toilets, plural? Yes, we are white trash. I'm ok with that. It scares away the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses.

I forgot that burn season ends on April 30th and am kicking myself for not finishing off the last tiny bit of the burn pile.

So yea, my percentage completion rate is only 28.5 percent, but to my credit, instead of starting out with yard work on Friday morning, I opted to rip the frightening orange carpet from 1976 (I'm not kidding) out of our bedroom. I found a somewhat thread-bare but pretty clean Karastan rug on CL the other day for $20 from some lady that thought I was a college student (BLESS HER HEART), and it just so happens to be almost the same dimension as our oddly-sized bedroom (11.5' x 18'), so out with the old carpet, and in with an antique (ha!) rug. Some sort of rug is necessary because our house was built in 1963 and has asbestos tile flooring in the bedrooms, which isn't exactly cozy to walk on with bare feet - I plan to hunt down the person that made this unfortunate decision and strangle him/her someday. As long as you don't try to remove the tiles, it's not a health hazard, but WTF (that would be who, not what) would install vinyl tile flooring in a bedroom anyway?

I like the rug a lot! I'll take a picture for you once I get all the furniture back in place and post it soon. I even remembered to take BEFORE pictures so you can understand just how much happier I am without gnarly orange carpet in my sleeping quarters.

You've Got Nuthin On Me, Chard

I got Hub to eat green vegetables last night - lots of them. No, really, I did.

Noce's All-Green-Like Stir-Fry.

Ingredients:

1. The massive bunch of chard that came in the farm share today, ribs removed and chopped up
   
2. One young onion (aka spring onion; or you could use a leek) leftover from last week's farm share, sliced
   
3. A lot of broccoli, chopped (or not, if you prefer big trees)
   
4. Two chicken breasts, sliced into bite-size pieces
   
5. 1 cup Black Pepper Sauce from Trader Joe's
6. 1 1/2 cups Sweet & Sour Sauce from TJ's
7. 2 1/2 Tbsp. butter
8. Garlic, minced
9. Some slivered almonds
10. Some sesame seeds
11. Lemon pepper and salt, to taste
    
12. Basmati or Jasmine rice
    

How to:

In a BIG saute pan over medium-low heat, melt the butter and add the young onion/spring onion/leek. Let it sizzle for maybe ten minutes (start cooking your rice in a rice cooker about now), then add the chicken. Season with lemon pepper and salt.

Add the broccoli and chard (holy cow, that's a lot of chard) to the chicken, cover, and let cook until broccoli is bright green and chard has (significantly) reduced in size. Not so scary looking now, is it?

Meanwhile, in a small bowl, mix together your Black Pepper Sauce and Sweet & Sour Sauce. I'm just guessing on the quantities here, but I probably had about 1.5 cups, which is why I put those particular amounts in the ingredients list, but I really don't know how much it was. My stir-frys always seem to be disappointingly un-saucy, so I really sauced it up this time, and it obviously worked out because Husband ate it all.

Now toss your garlic into the Fry. Stir it up.

Wait for the click on the rice cooker to tell you that your rice is done, then add all that good sauciness to the Fry.

Now, serve yourself up some rice, slather on some of that Fry, and garnish with the almonds and sesame seeds.